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June 30, 2022

Freedom is in the mind

You are FREE

Freedom is in the mind. Pain is in the mind. Emotions are in the mind.

Your mind lives inside of YOU. You may see the theme here —GO INSIDE TO BE FREE.

We all yearn to be FREE.

    How do we accomplish freedom when we feel stuck in the suffering and pain of life? In order to be free we have to look inside. We have to know our past pain, observe how it weaves into the fabric of our identity, and consider how our pain is a part of us but not ALL OF US.

    I will always be a widow. My children will never speak to their dad again. I will never change that my father abandoned me. These are the scars of my life. Yet my life is not simply defined by these scars. We can all agree that we are not simply our pain, but we often don’t know how to go deeper than identifying it. When we simply state the painful experience we are taking a brave step, but it is not enough to find freedom from the pain. — I am saying in order to be free you must make friends with your pain. When we get comfortable and build a relationship with our deepest wounds we are awake. The mindful practice of observing your life, reactions, and feelings will give you the greatest understanding of who you are.

    If we simply name the pain, we identify it on the surface.—My late husband and the father of my children died from stomach cancer—when I say that statement, I am very vulnerable. It defines a part of me to others and they make assumptions, they feel sympathy for this identity, and it scares them because I am young. All of this character assessment is defined by others with little understanding of the depths to this pain. In return, I feel guilt, shame, not-enoughness, sadness, and insecurity due to this identity. If I emotionally stay on the surface with this wound—I am hiding on the inside and feeling a multitude of emotions surrounding my story. I am allowing the outside world define me, when I don’t know my own story and truth. I say something like it’s okay we are fine (easing others discomfort talking about my loss). Tempted to compartmentalize and push down my fears surrounding this pain and make it better for others. This is an example of living from your subconscious—a need to make everyone outside of you okay—but not make you okay.

    What I have learned is that creating a deep relationship with your loss allows you the power to manage the many emotions that make you feel stuck. When you make friends with your triggers and hurt, you are a better mother, friend, wife, and boss. If you truly know yourself, then when others cannot meet you where you need to be met emotionally, it is not because you are not enough, it is because they are not ready or able. You respect that and release them. Knowing thyself gives you, your POWER. It free's you from the outside world telling you whom they need you to be. Or living a life that is not authentically yours. It allows you to take care of yourself, to be gentle to these hurt places within, to find relationships that support your healing, to say what you need, and ultimately live FREE from any identities that you do not CLAIM as yours.

    Freedom starts in the mind. Emotions are attached to every situation we experience in this life, but when we choose not to understand them we lose our power to be free. You have your pain, your relationships that you can think of that keep you stuck. We often just surrender to the pain and then shove it out of our minds. What we may want to consider is the idea that your relationship with pain will help you stay in healthy relationships and lives. When we know our deepest self, we do not let others tell us who we are, how we should live, and what we SHOULD be doing with our fragile time on this earth. We are FREE when we live for ourselves. This is not selfish, this is self-preservation. Release the outside world gripping you—go inside—get comfortable with what you need to survive and befriend your pain. Watch yourself as you interact in your daily life, and ask yourself is this whom I want to be, or is this my pain living for me? Try to not avoid it, busy yourself not to feel it, help others so much you ignore yourself, or numb it with various vices.

    Stay present to yourself—LET NOTHING or NO ONE keep you from living FREE by telling you more about yourself than you know about yourself. BE FREE- BE YOU—The world needs more YOU.

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